Brandon Vs the Creepy Old Brigde
by Jibbette
Summary: This is about the security guard in Battle at the Smithsonian. Well, sort of. It's pretty much the same guy, except that he's 15. Yeah, so it's before he decided to be a security guard. Brandon has to defeat the evil Troll King Nort and save our world!


**A/N: Heyy, Carson here. This is one of my first stories, so please be kind in reviews. And I would absolutely LOVE some constructive criticism and tips on how to improve my writing! Heheh, I originally wrote this as an assignment for my English class, but it turned out so WONDERFUL (-coughmyopinioncough-) that I just HAD to upload it. Please enjoy and REVIEW! Thanks! Lots of Love and Cookies! ~3**

BRANDON VS. THE CREEPY OLD BRIDGE

Once upon a time, there was a fifteen year old boy named Brandon (pronounced Bruhn-den). Brandon was always a little . . . different. For one, he is very sensitive about his name, and can get quite upset if someone pronounces it wrong.

Ever since he was a young child, he has had a fascination *coughobsessioncough* with flashlights. Brandon collects them. He has red ones, blue ones, old and new ones, dull ones, bright ones, heavy and light ones. He has all sorts of flashlights.

Brandon lives in a small town called Yakama. Every Thursday, the town of Yakama holds a Farmers' Market, with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, handmade trinkets, and unique clothes. About a mile outside of Yakama lives Brandon's grandmother. She is frail and weak, so every now and then Brandon brings her something nice from the Market.

As of late, people have begun to worry. For the past two months, there have been a few mysterious disappearances. Also, most of the people who went missing lived near the river on the outskirts of town. This is the same river that Brandon crosses when going to visit his grandmother. Because of that fact, he has been warned countless times to stay away from anything suspicious. It is by this very river that our story begins. . . .

One fine summer morning, Brandon was out and about when he decided to pay a visit to his grandmother. So, off he went down the path towards the river. As he was crossing on the "Creepy Old Bridge", as the children called it, he saw a most curious sight. He saw two migrating swallows flying with a flashlight.

While you or I might have been puzzled as to what the swallows were doing, Brandon's attention was focused on the flashlight. He wanted it. No, he _needed_ it. He raised his arms, trying to grab it. Hands stretched high in the sky, Brandon felt something strange in his fingers, almost like they were being pulled at.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a hole appeared in the sky and swallowed Brandon up. When he finally realized what had happened, and after pinching himself to see if he had actually woken up that morning, Brandon decided to take a look around the foreign land he was dropped in.

At first glance, all he saw a baron, rocky desert, with a big, pointy mountain in the distance. But, looking closer, Brandon noticed that the rocks weren't rocks at all! They were crab-like creatures that, when still, looked exactly.

Seeing nothing interesting, Brandon started walking towards the pointy mountain. After about half an hour, he was getting tired, and stopped to sit on a small boulder. But when he sat down, the boulder said "oof!" It wasn't a boulder at all! It was the hobo, whose tragic life story had resurfaced when he disappeared. (He accidentally won the lottery, lost it all when he was accidentally robbed by a hobo, accidentally got his arm cut off in the process, and then accidentally used his parents' credit card to pay for the prosthetic arm.)

The hobo told Brandon that the land was being controlled by an evil troll king named Nort. He said that Nort was recruiting the missing persons, and was planning to use them to take over our world. Brandon just shrugged his shoulders, but the hobo knew what would convince Brandon. He fibbed that Nort the Troll King holds the Universe's best flashlight.

Brandon immediately asked where to find the king. The hobo just pointed to the pointy mountain. Confused, Brandon looked more carefully, and saw that it was actually a castle. So, he thanked the hobo and set off.

After what seemed like hours of walking, Brandon finally arrived at the belly of the beast. Attempting (but failing) to be as a sneaky as a ninja, he made his way inside.

The front doors opened to a poorly lit hall that was damp and smelled of mold. At the end of the hall was a single door that Brandon went through cautiously.

The door slammed shut with a BAM! And the familiar click of a lock was heard. The Troll King himself stood at the other end of the room, blocking the only exit.

Nort sauntered up to Brandon, who stood frozen to the floor, rigid as a board. The troll handed him a little book, and told him to write his name on the list. Brandon looked at the top of the page; the title read 'Enemies'. He signed his name and turned back to Nort, handing him the book.

Nort thanked him, smiling smugly/evilly. He began to speak, telling Brandon about his plan for world domination in detail, unaware that Brandon already knew all about it. Throughout his speech, Brandon was getting angrier by the second.

Finally, the King finished talking about his evil scheme. "But I'm afraid," he continued, "that since I've told you this, I must kill you. . ." (He glanced down at the book) "Br_a_ndon."

That pushed Brandon over the edge. He exploded. "It's BR_U_NDON!!!!" Brandon nearly screamed with rage, steam practically blowing out his ears, his face tomato red, and chucked his flashlight (he always keeps one in his pocket) at Nort with such force that when it struck his head, there was a noise that sounded like a loud thunderclap.

Then, suddenly, Nort the Troll King started to sizzle like cooking bacon, and then he died, giving Brandon (who had forgotten the lie that the hobo had told him about the flashlight) the perfect opportunity to get out. He ran through the opposite door that he had entered, and quickly got lost in the maze that was the castle.

He slowed to a brisk walk, and just wandered until he came across a door that was marked 'Nort's Evil Lair/Lab'. Brandon walked inside, and saw a giant keyboard-type thing with lots of buttons. He noticed one that was smaller and colored differently.

Strangely, this button was marked 'Return Prisoners to Earth'. Brandon thought this was quite funny. It was just like in the cartoons when the bad guy put a 'Self-Destruct' button on their robots. He silently chuckled to himself.

As he could think of no other way to get home, Brandon pressed the ironic button. There was a great flash of light, and then everything went black.

When Brandon came to, he saw that he was back on the 'Creepy Old Bridge', on the outskirts of Yakama. He walked to his grandmother's house, even though, by this time, it was late afternoon. When he arrived, he could smell the sweetness of fresh-out-of-the-oven chocolate chip cookies.

He rang the doorbell, and his grandmother greeted him and gave him some cookies and milk. "So, Brandon how was your day?" she asked him.

"Well. . . ."

THE END

**A/N: Yeahh. I know it's amazing. Lots of the stuff I took from my favorite movies! i.e. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, Night at the Museum: Battle at the Smithsonian, and (the best one) Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Pretty amazing stuffs right here yepyep. Sooo, please review!**


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